Ray Gives Manhood Breakfast Talk

Faculty Emeritus Barry Ray was the speaker at the Lower School Manhood Breakfast October 4. Ray, who retired as Assistant Headmaster, Upper School Principal, and History Instructor in May, spoke about the eight qualities that make a real man.
Responsibility: Facing Life’s Challenges – Ray encouraged owning up to your actions and consequences. He said a man understands his duties are steppingstones to maturity and growth.
 
Integrity: The Key to Trust – He highlighted how integrity in professional and personal life can lead to making the right decisions. Integrity includes speaking the truth, keeping your word, upholding moral principles, making decisions that align with beliefs and values, and accepting the consequences of your actions.
 
Courage: Handling Fear with Conviction – “When the storm hits, it is courage that keeps a man strong. But courage is not the absence of fear; rather, it is the determination to act in spite of it.” Ray followed with examples of courageous actions: protecting those who cannot protect themselves, standing up for one’s beliefs in the face of opposition, taking responsibility for mistakes and learning from them.
 
Resilience: Bouncing Back Stronger – According to Ray, a man shows resilience in everyday life by learning from mistakes, maintaining a positive outlook, setting realistic goals and persisting toward them with determination, seeking support when needed and giving support when able, and being adaptable in changing circumstances.
 
Compassion: Understanding and Care in Action – “Compassion often defines a man’s ability to connect with others and to act with kindness and empathy.” A compassionate man listens actively and offers emotional support to others, shows patience with others’ flaws, engages in acts of kindness without expecting anything in return, and encourages those around him.
 
Leadership: Guiding Others with Vision – “Leadership is not about being at the top of the pyramid.” Real leadership is about guiding others with vision, inspiring through example, and elevating those around you.
 
Self-Respect: Valuing Your Own Worth – Self-respect gives men the courage to set boundaries, to strive for what they deserve, and to walk away from anything that diminishes them. Some pillars of self-respect include staying true to personal beliefs and values, practicing mental and physical self-care, demonstrating self-control and self-discipline, and building relationships that are reciprocal and grounded in mutual respect.
 
Humility: Recognizing and Honoring Others – Ray believes humility is a powerful masculine trait because “it reflects the strength of a man’s character and his ability to maintain perspective about his place in the world.” Humility can manifest in showing appreciation for others and valuing their input and efforts, putting the needs of others before one’s own, and acknowledging the contributions of others.
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